A journey. "Death".  A new life. A Phoenix Rising!

  I've decided to undergo bariatric surgery.  Gastric bypass surgery.  Why?  Because I've struggled with weight all of my life and now it is starting to steal things from me.  The ability to walk up/down stairs without my knees hurting.  The ability to play soccer with my son for more than a few minutes without being out of breath.  The ability to ride on a roller coaster without fear that I'll be humiliated because I won't fit in the seat.  I'm done.  I want my life back.
  There are those who think this is 'extreme' and, honestly, until about 2 months ago so did I.  But then I realized that my risk of diabetes, high blood pressure, sleep apnea, high cholesterol, heart disease and other comorbidities was MORE extreme than having surgery to take my life back.  I do have fears about the surgery and what happens after... but I fear the comorbidities more. 
  I decided that I should start this blog to journal my experience.  Mostly for me but if it can help/guide someone else then it's all the more important.  As I was trying to decide what I wanted to call my blog I was thinking about the upcoming 'death' of my relationship with food.  I call it a death for a couple of reasons... first, it will be fairly severe.  Although I am now counting calories and required to start losing weight before the surgery I CAN still eat anything and however much I want.  After sugery it will be a couple of teaspoons of liquid only at first and will take several weeks/months before I am able to eat any 'regular' foods.  Obviously the portions will stay small..but will be a bit more than a few teaspoons.   I also call it a death because as much as I love food, cooking, eating, etc.. I don't ever want to have THIS relationship with food again.  It's quite dysfunctional.  BUT I look forward to a NEW life, a NEW relationship with food... and my body. 

Much like a mythical phoenix rising (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phoenix_(mythology) ) I must 'burn' what I have now and totally be 'reborn' into my new life.   Let the journey begin!